OK, before people go all psycho and get the pitch forks out, I did exaggerate the title a little bit. In terms of modern day feminism, It's probably not a hate but a very strong dislike, and if you give me five to ten minutes of your time I'll explain why...
I had actually been planning to write this blog for months, and the reason why it still hadn't made it to the top of the pile yet, was because I really didn't know how to articulate it in a way that people would understand.
Although we live in a culture which advocates free speech and the right to have an opinion, I feel as soon as anyone says anything remotely contary to the overall majority, the shotguns and torches come out.
As we had just recently celebrated International Women's Day, I thought this might be the best time to write it. Forgive me for not being 'on trend' but I honestly struggled to put this post together. Hence why it's a little late.
Now some of what I may say may be 'politically' incorrect, but that's not who I am or what I'm about. I believe truth is truth and fact is fact regardless of what has been written on paper.
On top of that, I feel that as a blogger, I have to be true to myself and speak up for things that are important to me, just as anyone else would.
If I'm completely honest I was close to punking out altogether thinking "I could lose people after writing this," but I feel for every person that might switch off another person will switch on because there's many people out there who may feel the same, but because of a fear of backlash refuse to say anything.
Now I've done a bit reading and research to make sure I knew how to articulate what I want to say before speaking about this issue.
The best way to start this off, is to explain that the feminist movement has begun and progressed in three or four different waves.
The first wave of 'feminism' dates all the way back to pre 1800 where women like Mary Wollstonecraft and Jane Austen campaigned for the dignity, intelligence, and basic human potential of the female sex.
From then until around the 1960's, we have made massive leaps in terms of women's rights when it came to things like giving women the right to vote, the right to work etc and this is amazing. I can't imagine what it must have been like to be a woman in the 18th century, and the reality is there is still loads that needs to be done.
There are many countries and cultures where women still live under this kind of oppression - and it's unacceptable. It's almost ridiculous to think that there are countries today, where women are not allowed to drive cars, or are so under valued compared to men that girl children would be abandoned at birth or aborted.
From around the 1960's and onwards the feminist movement has grown and became an advocate for women's rights in regards to sexual freedom, where we saw the pill become available, as well as having abortion legalised in the UK.
There's so many things I could talk about and mention but I don't want to go on about the things people are already likely to know but rather discuss the things I feel people don't take any notice of.
If you're still reading don't give up on me yet! I'm going to explain just 3 reasons why, although I do believe it's important that women are treated equally, I can not and will never advocate modern feminism.
#1. WE PUSH THE SUCCESS AND IGNORE THE FALLOUT
As I mentioned earlier, there are things that have been achieved under the banner of the feminist movement such as allowing sexual freedom with the use of the pill and abortion being made legal and accessible in many western countries.
I think the most obvious fallout we have in our culture today as a result of the sexual revolution is the generation of the single parent. Now again please don't shut me down yet!
Before I was a wife, I was a single parent, and I believe that women who have to play the role of both mother and father in the home are deserving of the highest honour. It's not only extremely tiring but it is very difficult. Although being a single parent is as common as seeing leaves on the trees it doesn't mean it was supposed to be that way.
Nature tells us that every child needs a mother and a father.
Since the sexual revolution, we have seen a huge decline in marriages and a steep rise in co-habiting parents.
The feminist will say it's a good thing that women were allowed the same sexual freedom as men. A woman should be able to sleep around like a man without the weight of responsibility and commitment but you find me one woman who would admit that they:
1. Want to be or feel used
2. Want the emotional stress or long term regret of going through an abortion
3. Want to raise a child on their own without the love and support of the child's father
I didn't think so. But for years this is exactly what the sexual revolution has done to women for centuries.
People may not want to admit it or even realise it, but marriage is the fabric of every society. When a man and a woman make a commitment to one another and raise children in that environment, it has a massive impact on not only the wellbeing of that family but the society that their marriage contributes to.
As a result of "sexual freedom" we've garnered a generation of children - especially men, being raised without fathers.
Again, you may think this is no big deal but go to parts of inner London and speak to the victims, parents and even perpetrators of gang violence.
These men have no sense of self worth, no sense of responsibility or identity. And, for that reason, they formulate themselves into gangs to feel as if they belong somewhere.
They have hardly any respect for women, because they've never seen demonstrated by their fathers how a man should love a woman. And 9/10 they have children outside of meaningful relationships and the whole cycle starts again.
There are many more fallouts I could mention but I guess this is the one that sits the closest to home without me having to write a dictionary! But honestly, think about how although feminism praises the sexual revolution for 'liberating' women, when in actual fact it has bound us and left us exposed to more vulnerability on a massive scale.
#2. MEN AND WOMEN HAVE LOST THEIR TRUE IDENTITIES
Now, this second point may be a bit touchy for some. Especially in a day and age where gender lines have been extremely blurred, but I'm not going to go into all of that because I'll be here for decades!
What I will say is though, Men and women are and SHOULD be equal, but we are also very DIFFERENT.
I'll give you an analogy to explain what I mean by this.
The fire brigade, The police and the ambulance service. Each of these emergency services are equally as valuable as each other. There's not one more important than the other and depending on the type of emergency you have will determine which emergency service you call.
Imagine, if tomorrow, the fire brigade decided that because it didn't get as much admiration, praise or privilege as the police service, that instead of fighting fires, they would begin attending crimes and doing what the police do.
Or rather, imagine if the police service decided they weren't receiving as much admiration, praise or privilege as the ambulance service, so they decided to stop fighting crime and began treating people instead.
Can you imagine what would happen?
I'm certain that the effort put in to save lives would remain the same but the reality is each of these parties were made and trained to fulfill a particular role, and very important ones at that.
Trying to copy what the other person was made to do, would not only create problems in that area but would also result in a major fallout in the other services.
Again, I'm not going to go into all areas of this broad issue, but in regards to feminism, what began as a mission to gain equal rights for women has now become an, "I can do everything a man can do," mantra.
Now as a woman myself, I agree that there are plenty of things that are formally attributed to men that women can do - maybe even better.
Woman are resourceful and able. We are strong, resilient and can adapt to so many different circumstances and situations. BUT - with all that said, it doesn't necessarily mean we have to assert ourselves and make our presence known everywhere for the sake of "I can do it too,"
Like the analogy I gave in the beginning, women staking a claim in anything and everything that is seen as predominantly male, is self-harming because we almost neglect the responsibilities we have that truly matter.
I can imagine some women reading this with red blood filling up their eyeballs but take a moment with me and think back to when you were a child.
What was your favourite disney film and why? What character did you aspire to be like the most and why?
What were your biggest dreams as a child?
Feel free to comment below the answer to these questions but for now I'll just tell you mine.
When I was growing up I wanted to be a mummy. I probably didn't realise it at the time, but I had an obsession for real life baby toys that drank and went to the toilet, and I would beg my mum to get me acessories like prams and carry cots to go with it.
If I can remember correctly, my favourite disney film was Beauty and the Beast. I loved the fact Belle was smart. She was beautiful, princess-like but she loved books like me. I loved the thrill and the adventure but I also loved the fact that Belle was loving and sensitive. Not only towards her father but towards the beast.
She began to feel almost responsible for the beast when she saw him fight and defend her and we know how the story goes. At the end, the curse is broken and she finds behind the beast, her prince charming.
When I was growing up, I would say I was a bit of a tomboy aswell. Although, I liked babies, and soppy films like disney, I also loved the adventures of climbing up walls and playing and watching sports like football and cricket.
I'm not sure exactly how old I was when I discovered this book, but it's called Captivating by a couple called John and Stasi Eldredge.
The book is basically an insight of a woman's soul and goes into detail about why we feel the way we do and how it relates to what we were made for. Before reading this, I have to admit, there were points in my life where I was a bit confused - but after reading this it all made sense.
Women were made for adventure, thrill and excitement, but we are also soft, sensitive, protective, creative and nurturing.
When we say a woman was made to rear children and build a home, we get upset, like "Is that it!, there's so much more to me than that," And rightly so. BUT - that doesn't mean that those things should be undermined or neglected.
Ask any parent. Raising respectable, responsible and well-rounded children is no easy task and it takes strong, well rounded and confident women to do so.
Women that although have the brain power to manage a FTSE 100 company, don't need a title or power suits to affirm their self worth.
Honestly, I feel that if the feminism movement continues to go the way it's going, we'll see more and more women lost in a sea of so called independance but really losing their true sense of self. Men on the other hand are being demonised just for being men and it won't be long before men begin to take a back seat.
They'll either step back for fear of their masculinity being offensive. Step back because women are seemingly doing everything and either become lazy or unmotivated.
#3. WHERE DOES THE MODERN FEMINIST MOVEMENT LEAVE MEN IN THE FUTURE?
So I touched on this briefly earlier, about the fact that men have been pushed so far back it's like the minute they try to assert themselves, they're reprimanded for being domineering and over-masculine.
I know it's not the greatest analogy but it's almost like trying to reprimand a lion for not being vegetarian. It's in a man's DNA to be a leader, a protector and a provider. And I feel as though feminism strips men of these attributes and leaves them with nothing else to do but be passive.
I've tried to stress this before but I will reiterate the fact that I'm all for equality but not at the expense of stripping men of their masculinity.
I'm a mother of two young boys who will one day be men and it disturbs me when I see slogans like 'The future is female". Where does that leave my boys then?
It's funny how the definition of feminism speaks about equality and yet there's only one gender being glorified.
As I said before, feminism in itself was a movement which began to give women the rights they were entitled to, and denied just because of their gender. It had nothing to do with doing what men were doing, and if women and men alike refuse to stand up and say enough is enough, we'll continue to see holes being burned in the fabric of our societies.
There will come a day, a generation where real men will be required to fulfill a role, GOD forbid maybe even in war. And real men will not be found.
Even worse, I'd love to see how outspoken the feminists will be if the men turn around and say that because women are no 'different' than men they should be able to enlist as soldiers on the front line too...
Some food for thought ey?
[Please note the photo used for this post is not my own]